#208398 - Before he ran off into the woods I said, “Hey I have an idea!” At that point I still thought watersports included synchronized swimming. I didn’t want to embarrass myself so I wore Speedos, a jock strap and then my regular suit after the ole “Is that a pool toy in your pants incident of 2007?” In which the object in question was most certainly not a pool toy although I wouldn’t mind at all if you tried to inflate it! Two years ago, while swimming, my younger cousin Shelby, while I was eating dinner with her at the pool, asked what was in my pants? I sort of chuckled, adjusted myself and said something along the lines of, “How did that get there?” She said, “There’s a big lump in your shorts haha!” and I said, “It’s because I’m fat okay!” Truth be told, I had no interest in 9 year old girls or sex education, or the combination of the two so I brushed it off in whatever manner I could. At the same time I reached down, and shoved my hand into his family jewels.